"I would rather give birth to a pig!"My mother's voice was a sharp knief,piercing through my eardrums.She threw my report book at me furiously.An agony seared through my face and the tears of melancholy were brimming in my eyes."I...I tried my best!I just couldn't..."My father snapped."Rubbish!This is your best?Hundred and ten marks out of three subjects?"There were fireballs blazing in his eyes and his face turned livid.The fear in my heart swallowed me up when he took out his rope."Please...Not again!"I shrieked at the top of my lungs and dashed into my room.I shut the door and my heart was palpitating like an machine.    "You better get out of there soon!Before I break my way in!"Horror...Horror!The only thing I heard was horror!Why...my dear father,why would you do this to your daughter?I took a deep breath and whimpered in despair,but when I contemplated into my dancing shoes...a sparkle of hope was glistering in my eyes.I picked up the dancing shoes and hugged them with joy.The horror and the despair in my heart had vanished.I wore the loving dancing shoes and started to dance.I skittered on the floor like a feather and showed my passion in my dance moves.I was lamentable little duck,but the next moment,I transformed into a fascinating swan.    After I finished my dance,I was giddy with satisfaction.The jubilance in my heart was endless.I finally knew who I really was...I opened my door,hesitated,but I was ready for another storm of scoldings."Mum?Dad?"I murmured softly."Oh!You are finally out!Little coward!"My father threatened me with his rope.I clenched my fish tightly and I cleared my throat."Oh well!You know what?I am sick and tired of all these!I want to be a dancer when I grow up!"I yelled at him defiantly.My father was stunned and dumbfounded for a second,then he continued."Well,show me then!"    I danced confidently in front of my parents.Their eyes were locked on me and they could not stop looking at me.After the dance,they gazed at me in surprise with their eyes widely opened."Wow!We don't remember you...having such a talent!"My mother stammered.I exulted with euphoria as I knew my dance enraptured my parents."So...my dear parents,may I write an application to the School Of The Art?"My parents nodded jauntily.After that,we hugged together in cloud-nine and nobody was going to stop me from pursuing my dream.    One month later,I stood on the stage proudly...The lights were so bright,but they never blinded me...This should be my new beginning and my new life!

修改后：
"I would rather give birth to a pig!" My mother's voice was like a sharp knife, piercing through my ears. She threw my report book at me furiously. I replied in low voice with tears in my eyes, "I...I tried my best! I just couldn't..." My father snapped, "Rubbish! You tried your best? Hundred and ten marks out of three subjects?" He shouted loudly and his face became red. He turned around and took out his rope, I was scared and cried, "Please, please, dad...no!" I clenched my fist, dashed into my room and locked the door. I leant on the door and my heart was beaten like a drum. "You'd better get out soon! Or I will break my way in!" My father shouted angrily. I cried sadly, "Why...my dear father, why would you do this to your daughter?" I took a deep breath and opened my eyes looking around my room. When I saw my dancing shoes, I rushed to them, picked them up and held them tightly. I felt a little better. I wore the loving dancing shoes and started to dance like a feather moving on the floor. After I finished my dance, I was satisfied. I found who I really was and what I wanted to do. I opened the door slowly to face the coming storm. "Mum?Dad?" I murmured softly. "Oh! Here you are! Little coward!" My father threatened me with his rope. I clenched my fish tightly and I cleared my throat. "Oh well! You know what? I am sick and tired of all this! I want to be a dancer when I grow up!" I yelled at him defiantly. My father was stunned for a second, then he continued. "Well,show me then!" I danced confidently in front of my parents. Their eyes were fixed on me and they could not stop looking at me. After the dance, they gazed at me with surprise. "Wow! We don't remember you...having such a talent!" My mother stammered. I was excited as I knew my dance had enraptured my parents. "So...my dear parents, may I write an application to the School Of The Art?" My parents nodded. After that, we hugged together and nobody could stop me from pursuing my dream.  One month later, I stood on the stage proudly...The lights were so bright, but they never blinded me...This should be my new beginning and my new life! 

修改老师：Crystal 老师 

    初一:顾健荣

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